Friday, October 31, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/31/08
CONVERSATIONS
Host: “Happy Halloween kids, here’s the deal.”
H: “Barack, you can be the Scarecrow.”
H: “Joey, you are the Tin Man.”
JB: “Darn, I wanted to be a plumber.”
H: “Johnny Mac, gets to be the Wizard.”
H: “Sarah, here is your broom stick.”
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/30/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Did you read where the social conservatives plan to take over the Republican Party?”
JH: “They think that with their leadership and mono-message…
JH: they can impose party discipline…
JH: and capture 25 to 30 percent of the vote…
JH: every election.”
JT: “Hello Democratic era!”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Who’s the intellectual leader of these social conservatives?”
JH: “Rush Limbaugh.”
JT: “Hello Democratic era!”
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/29/08
CONVERSATIONS
McCain Pollster: “The McCain campaign has made impressive strides over the last week of tracking.”
MP: “At the current rate, we project…
MP: that he will overtake his opponent…
MP: by Election Day…
MP: 2016.”
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/28/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Did you read Jonah Goldberg today?”
JT: “The far right columnist? No.”
JH: “He calls Obama a stale liberal…
JH: who ‘symbolizes a return to an older version of America.’”
JT: “You mean one with a booming economy
JT: and our troops out of Iraq and chasing bin Laden?”
JT: “DAMN!”
Monday, October 27, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/27/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Wow! McCain’s people are angry!”
JH: “They are saying that Palin's 'going rogue.’”
JT: “What do they expect?”
JT: “You choose a maverick, you get a rogue.”
JT: “Cannibal time!”
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/26/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: ”Did you see where they are already voting in Florida?”
JH: “Not to mention that thousands across the country have cast absentee ballots.”
JH: “Who do you think this hurts the most?”
JT: “McCain.”
JT: “He had planned to shift his campaign theme at least…
JT: three more times before Election Day.”
JH: ”Did you see where they are already voting in Florida?”
JH: “Not to mention that thousands across the country have cast absentee ballots.”
JH: “Who do you think this hurts the most?”
JT: “McCain.”
JT: “He had planned to shift his campaign theme at least…
JT: three more times before Election Day.”
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/23/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Can you believe this?”
JH: On September 10 alone, Palin spent $75,062.63 of Republican campaign funds at Neiman Marcus,
JH: $49,425.74 at two different Saks Fifth Avenues,
JH: and $10,802.29 at other stores.”
JT: “I guess Obama’s not the only one who wants to…
JT: redistribute the wealth.”
JT: “Or is this just the way soccer moms dress…
JT: in ‘real America?’”
JH: “Can you believe this?”
JH: On September 10 alone, Palin spent $75,062.63 of Republican campaign funds at Neiman Marcus,
JH: $49,425.74 at two different Saks Fifth Avenues,
JH: and $10,802.29 at other stores.”
JT: “I guess Obama’s not the only one who wants to…
JT: redistribute the wealth.”
JT: “Or is this just the way soccer moms dress…
JT: in ‘real America?’”
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/22/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: ”I see that Obama’s lead is down a point.”
JT: “I pay absolutely no attention to the daily polls.”
JT: “And besides, it was only .090001%of a point.”
JH: ”I see that Obama’s lead is down a point.”
JT: “I pay absolutely no attention to the daily polls.”
JT: “And besides, it was only .090001%of a point.”
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/21/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: ”Doesn’t it seem to you that McCain has lost weight during the campaign?”
JT: “Shedding your ideals is worth a couple of belt sizes every time.”
JH: ”Doesn’t it seem to you that McCain has lost weight during the campaign?”
JT: “Shedding your ideals is worth a couple of belt sizes every time.”
Monday, October 20, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/20/08
CONVERSATIONS
President, San Bernardino Republican Women’s Club: “We will not give in to the politics of intimidation.”
PSBRWC: “The Democrats will not control us with phony charges and name calling.”
PSBRWC: “Yes our October newsletter was illustrated with a picture of Obama…
PSBRWC: surrounded by fried chicken, watermelon and ribs,
PSBRWC: but that does not make us racists.”
President, San Bernardino Republican Women’s Club: “We will not give in to the politics of intimidation.”
PSBRWC: “The Democrats will not control us with phony charges and name calling.”
PSBRWC: “Yes our October newsletter was illustrated with a picture of Obama…
PSBRWC: surrounded by fried chicken, watermelon and ribs,
PSBRWC: but that does not make us racists.”
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/19/08
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Obama wants to tax the wealthy to help the less wealthy.”
JM: “I call that socialism.”
Reporter: “Sir, what about the bailout?”
JM: “That’s taking money from the less wealthy to help the wealthy.”
JM: “I call that smart.”
John McCain: “Obama wants to tax the wealthy to help the less wealthy.”
JM: “I call that socialism.”
Reporter: “Sir, what about the bailout?”
JM: “That’s taking money from the less wealthy to help the wealthy.”
JM: “I call that smart.”
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/18/08
CONVERSATIONS
Aide: “Senator McCain! Senator McCain!”
Aide: “Our plumber is not licensed nor registered.”
JM: “OH, NO! OH, NO!”
JM: “Say it ain’t so, Joe!”
CONVERSATIONS
Aide: “And your favorable rating…
Aide: is down to 41%.”
JM: “OH, NO! OH, NO!”
JM: “Say it ain’t so low!”
Aide: “Senator McCain! Senator McCain!”
Aide: “Our plumber is not licensed nor registered.”
JM: “OH, NO! OH, NO!”
JM: “Say it ain’t so, Joe!”
CONVERSATIONS
Aide: “And your favorable rating…
Aide: is down to 41%.”
JM: “OH, NO! OH, NO!”
JM: “Say it ain’t so low!”
Friday, October 17, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/17/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “So the McCain/Palin campaign is now all about two guys named Joe.”
JT: “Come to think of it, wasn’t that the title of a movie back when McCain and I were boys?”
JH: “You’re thinking of ‘A Guy Named Joe.’”
JT: “That’s right, one Joe.”
JT: “Anyway, Joe the Plumber is going to try to fix the leak in McCain’s campaign, and,
JT: when that fails,
JT: Joe Sixpack is going to provide the beer for the wake.”
JT: “So the McCain/Palin campaign is now all about two guys named Joe.”
JT: “Come to think of it, wasn’t that the title of a movie back when McCain and I were boys?”
JH: “You’re thinking of ‘A Guy Named Joe.’”
JT: “That’s right, one Joe.”
JT: “Anyway, Joe the Plumber is going to try to fix the leak in McCain’s campaign, and,
JT: when that fails,
JT: Joe Sixpack is going to provide the beer for the wake.”
Thursday, October 16, 2008
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Your thoughts on last night’s final debate?”
JT: “I’m with David Brooks. McCain was so tightly wound that I was afraid he would break into tiny pieces.”
JT: “Of course, you have to give him some credit.”
JT: “Saying the American people are angry three times in your first sentence,
JT: with clenched teeth and a manical grin
JT: is no easy thing.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “The Dodgers didn’t go out with a bang last night.”
JH: “Not even a whimper.”
JT: “It was more like they went out by the numbers…
JT: E-6, 4-6-3 and 5-1.”
JH: “Your thoughts on last night’s final debate?”
JT: “I’m with David Brooks. McCain was so tightly wound that I was afraid he would break into tiny pieces.”
JT: “Of course, you have to give him some credit.”
JT: “Saying the American people are angry three times in your first sentence,
JT: with clenched teeth and a manical grin
JT: is no easy thing.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “The Dodgers didn’t go out with a bang last night.”
JH: “Not even a whimper.”
JT: “It was more like they went out by the numbers…
JT: E-6, 4-6-3 and 5-1.”
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/15/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Did you see where McCain has hired Tucker Eskew as a consultant?”
JH: “Isn’t that the same guy who slimed the Arizona senator in South Carolina in 2000?”
JH: “As I recall, he claimed that McCain had an illegitimate black daughter.”
JT: “Yes, but now he says he was wrong and that…
JT: she was really Obama’s Muslim daughter.”
JT: “Did you see where McCain has hired Tucker Eskew as a consultant?”
JH: “Isn’t that the same guy who slimed the Arizona senator in South Carolina in 2000?”
JH: “As I recall, he claimed that McCain had an illegitimate black daughter.”
JT: “Yes, but now he says he was wrong and that…
JT: she was really Obama’s Muslim daughter.”
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/14/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “It’s scary how alike Democrats and Republicans are these days.”
JT: “They both even retain the same law firm.”
JH: “What law firm are you talking about?”
JT: “Cut, Spend and Borrow.”
JH: “Isn’t Borrow the one who lives in China?”
JT: “It’s scary how alike Democrats and Republicans are these days.”
JT: “They both even retain the same law firm.”
JH: “What law firm are you talking about?”
JT: “Cut, Spend and Borrow.”
JH: “Isn’t Borrow the one who lives in China?”
Monday, October 13, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/13/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “It looks like McCain’s message of moderation is getting through?”
JH: “What do you mean?”
JT: “Yesterday his crowds dropped the ‘kill Obama’ cries…
JT: and merely yelled ‘hurt him badly.’”
JT: “It looks like McCain’s message of moderation is getting through?”
JH: “What do you mean?”
JT: “Yesterday his crowds dropped the ‘kill Obama’ cries…
JT: and merely yelled ‘hurt him badly.’”
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/12/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Let me get this straight.”
JT: “Laws to regulate human social behavior are good?”
Republican Friend: “Of course.” Who wants to live in a lawless political society where the strong prey upon the weak?”
JT: “But laws regulating human economic behavior are bad?”
RP: “Absolutely! Who wants to live in a lawful economic society where the strong can’t prey upon the weak?”
JT: “Let me get this straight.”
JT: “Laws to regulate human social behavior are good?”
Republican Friend: “Of course.” Who wants to live in a lawless political society where the strong prey upon the weak?”
JT: “But laws regulating human economic behavior are bad?”
RP: “Absolutely! Who wants to live in a lawful economic society where the strong can’t prey upon the weak?”
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/11/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Did you see where someone at a McCain rally screamed out that Obama is a terrorist?”
JH: “And someone at a Palin-Florida rally yelled ‘kill him!’”
JT: “And neither Republican objected.”
JT: “It’s called lynch-mob politics,
JT: or, if you like the shorter version -
JT: Palin’s gift.”
CONVERSATIONS
Crowd noise: “Kill the traitor! Kill the Arab!”
McCain: “My friends. Barack Obama is decent and a good family man.”
JM: “And I will not tolerate these insults toward him.”
JM: “So I am turning the microphone over to my amazing running mate.”
JH: “Did you see where someone at a McCain rally screamed out that Obama is a terrorist?”
JH: “And someone at a Palin-Florida rally yelled ‘kill him!’”
JT: “And neither Republican objected.”
JT: “It’s called lynch-mob politics,
JT: or, if you like the shorter version -
JT: Palin’s gift.”
CONVERSATIONS
Crowd noise: “Kill the traitor! Kill the Arab!”
McCain: “My friends. Barack Obama is decent and a good family man.”
JM: “And I will not tolerate these insults toward him.”
JM: “So I am turning the microphone over to my amazing running mate.”
Friday, October 10, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/10/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “It says here that Bill Gates has lost $1.5 billion in 33 days.”
JT: “The Google guys lost the same.”
JT: “And Larry Ellison is down $1.6.”
JT: “Barb, you have to read this.”
BBT: “Not now. I’m heading for the .99.99 Cent Store
BBT: to do my monthly shopping.”
JT: “It says here that Bill Gates has lost $1.5 billion in 33 days.”
JT: “The Google guys lost the same.”
JT: “And Larry Ellison is down $1.6.”
JT: “Barb, you have to read this.”
BBT: “Not now. I’m heading for the .99.99 Cent Store
BBT: to do my monthly shopping.”
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/9/08
CONVERSATIONS
McCain: “Senator Abomination is untruthful and unethical.”
Reporter: “Sir, why didn’t you make these charges two days ago during your debate?”
JM: “Because I will not get down in the mud…
JM: and call my opponent names...
JM: to his face.”
McCain: “Senator Abomination is untruthful and unethical.”
Reporter: “Sir, why didn’t you make these charges two days ago during your debate?”
JM: “Because I will not get down in the mud…
JM: and call my opponent names...
JM: to his face.”
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/8/08
CONVERSATIONS
(McCain during the second debate)
John McCain: “Who wants us out of Iraq soon? That one!”
JM: “Who wants to harm free enterprise by regulating health insurance companies? That one!”
JM: “Who wants to raise taxes for the wealthiest 5 percent? That one!”
JM: “Who’s floundering in the campaign? This one!”
(McCain during the second debate)
John McCain: “Who wants us out of Iraq soon? That one!”
JM: “Who wants to harm free enterprise by regulating health insurance companies? That one!”
JM: “Who wants to raise taxes for the wealthiest 5 percent? That one!”
JM: “Who’s floundering in the campaign? This one!”
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/7/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “McCain is going dirty again.”
JH: “I thought he promised to run a positive campaign,
JH: one that was centered on issues.”
JT: “His campaign is issue-centered.”
JT: “The issue is that he is losing.”
CONVERSATIONS
REPORTER: “Senator McCain, do you feel that Senator Obama’s association with Bill Ayers is ground for suspicion?”
JM: “Yes, and so does my close friend G. Gordon Liddy.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “My friends, I didn’t just come out of nowhere.”
JM: “You know me. You know who I am and what I stand for.”
JM: “But that’s still not a good reason for voting for Senator Obama.”
JH: “McCain is going dirty again.”
JH: “I thought he promised to run a positive campaign,
JH: one that was centered on issues.”
JT: “His campaign is issue-centered.”
JT: “The issue is that he is losing.”
CONVERSATIONS
REPORTER: “Senator McCain, do you feel that Senator Obama’s association with Bill Ayers is ground for suspicion?”
JM: “Yes, and so does my close friend G. Gordon Liddy.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “My friends, I didn’t just come out of nowhere.”
JM: “You know me. You know who I am and what I stand for.”
JM: “But that’s still not a good reason for voting for Senator Obama.”
Monday, October 6, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/6/08
CONVERSATIONS
Reporter: “Governor Palin, you have said that Senator Obama’s association with a founder of the Weather Underground is fair game for discussion.”
GP: “That’s right.”
R: “And that he may have had a role in that group’s terrorists bombings in San Francisco.”
GP: “It’s possible.”
R: “But, Governor Palin, Senator Obama was only 8 at the time.”
GP: “I’m not saying he didn’t have help.”
Reporter: “Governor Palin, you have said that Senator Obama’s association with a founder of the Weather Underground is fair game for discussion.”
GP: “That’s right.”
R: “And that he may have had a role in that group’s terrorists bombings in San Francisco.”
GP: “It’s possible.”
R: “But, Governor Palin, Senator Obama was only 8 at the time.”
GP: “I’m not saying he didn’t have help.”
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/5/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Well we finally know why.”
JH: “Know why what?”
JT: “Palin just explained why she did so poorly in the Couric interviews.”
JT: “She said that Katie asked her the wrong questions.”
JH: “Like what?”
JT: “Like ones she couldn’t answer.”
JT: “Well we finally know why.”
JH: “Know why what?”
JT: “Palin just explained why she did so poorly in the Couric interviews.”
JT: “She said that Katie asked her the wrong questions.”
JH: “Like what?”
JT: “Like ones she couldn’t answer.”
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/4/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “The Divine Sarah was really on cue Thursday night.”
JH: “No, Jim, the Divine Sarah wasn’t Palin, it was
Bernhardt.”
JH: “Great actress, never forgot her lines.”
JT: “As I said, the Divine Sarah was really on cue Thursday night.”
JT: “The Divine Sarah was really on cue Thursday night.”
JH: “No, Jim, the Divine Sarah wasn’t Palin, it was
Bernhardt.”
JH: “Great actress, never forgot her lines.”
JT: “As I said, the Divine Sarah was really on cue Thursday night.”
Friday, October 3, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/3/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “What did you see as most impressive about Palin last night?”
JT: “The way she pleaded the Fifth.”
JH: “You have to be kidding?”
JT: “Not at all.”
JT: “And she did it early and often.”
JT: “Here it is on my recording.”
Governor Palin: “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I was not properly prepped and programmed for it.”
JH: “What did you see as most impressive about Palin last night?”
JT: “The way she pleaded the Fifth.”
JH: “You have to be kidding?”
JT: “Not at all.”
JT: “And she did it early and often.”
JT: “Here it is on my recording.”
Governor Palin: “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I was not properly prepped and programmed for it.”
Nobody Daily – 10/3/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “What did you see as most impressive about Palin last night?”
JT: “The way she pleaded the Fifth.”
JH: “You have to be kidding?”
JT: “Not at all.”
JT: “And she did it early and often.”
JT: “Here it is on my recording.”
Governor Palin: “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I was not properly prepped and programmed for it.”
JH: “What did you see as most impressive about Palin last night?”
JT: “The way she pleaded the Fifth.”
JH: “You have to be kidding?”
JT: “Not at all.”
JT: “And she did it early and often.”
JT: “Here it is on my recording.”
Governor Palin: “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I was not properly prepped and programmed for it.”
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/2/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “What are you looking for from Governor Palin tonight?”
JT: “Specificity.”
JH: “I assume you mean does she know the issues?”
JT: “I mean does she know the word.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Actually, she doesn’t need to know its meaning.”
JH: “What do you mean?”
JT: “She is going to continue to campaign as Joe Six-pack.”
JT: “’I know nothing, and I’m damn proud of it.’”
JT: “’Switch on the mud-wrestling channel!’”
JH: “What are you looking for from Governor Palin tonight?”
JT: “Specificity.”
JH: “I assume you mean does she know the issues?”
JT: “I mean does she know the word.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Actually, she doesn’t need to know its meaning.”
JH: “What do you mean?”
JT: “She is going to continue to campaign as Joe Six-pack.”
JT: “’I know nothing, and I’m damn proud of it.’”
JT: “’Switch on the mud-wrestling channel!’”
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Nobody Daily – 10/1/08
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “My fellow Americans,
JM: I want you to know
JM: how proud I am of this bailout
JM: on which I worked so hard,
JM: and that my good friends in Congress
JM: just (urgent whisper from aide)
JM: voted down.”
John McCain: “My fellow Americans,
JM: I want you to know
JM: how proud I am of this bailout
JM: on which I worked so hard,
JM: and that my good friends in Congress
JM: just (urgent whisper from aide)
JM: voted down.”
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