November 11, 2008

CONVERSATIONS

JH: “How many tours did your brother do in Vietnam?”

JT: “Four. He was on his third when he set a world record in the high jump.”

JH: “What world record?”

JT: “He rappelled down from a helicopter to check out a cave,

JT: found a python waiting,

JT: jumped back into the helicopter,

JT: didn’t even use the rope.”

(Thanks Pat, for going above and beyond. You are amazing – and not just for the high jump. With love, Jim)

November 10, 2008

CONVERSATIONS

JH: “Obama is going to the White House today, and I don’t get it.”

JH: “How can he make nice with a man he criticized so strongly?”

JT: “Simple, he is just following the first rule of politics.”

JT: “Never let your actions today be controlled by…

JT: the words you spoke yesterday.”

November 9, 2008

CONVERSATIONS

JH: “The election has been over for five days, Jim, why are you still smiling?”

JT: “I’m thinking of all the bigots and creationists,

JT: all the neos and social reactionaries.”

JT: “They must think that the Reagan revolution of 1980 has turned upside down.”

JH: “What do you mean?”

JT: “They must have awakened on November 5 thinking that…

JT: it was mourning in America.”

November 8, 2008

CONVERSATIONS

JH: “I see where Mayor Villaraigosa is in the news again.”

JH: “He is certainly a political climber.”

JT: “That he is! I can’t decide which Shakespearian quote fits him best:

JT: ‘much ado about nothing’

JT: or…

JT: ‘ambition should be made of sterner stuff.’”

November 7, 2008

CONVERSATIONS

Mormon Leader: “Yes, we spent big in favor of Proposition 8.”

ML: “The truth is not discrimination.”

ML: “If God wanted gay marriage,

ML: He would have allowed them to wear Holy underwear.”

Daily Nobody 11/5/08

CONVERSATIONS

JT: “Last night,

JT: as I saw state after state turning blue,

JT: I was proud to be a Democrat.”

JT: “But when I saw Barack Obama walk on to that Chicago stage,

JT: I was proud to be an American.”

30

Daily Nobody - 11/4/08

CONVERSATIONS


JT: “I had an interesting dream last night.”
JH: ‘What about?”

JT: “I was back teaching and they immediately elected me president of the teacher’s union.”
JH: “Why so quickly?”

JT: “Simple. I had a winning slogan.”

JT: “There are no bad teachers….

JT: just bad kids!”


CONVERSATIONS

JH: “No bad teachers, Jim? You don’t really believe that.

JT: “Of course not, but it got me elected.”

JT: “Would I have won with my real slogan?”

JT: “Merit pay….

JT: or on your way!”


CONVERSATIONS

JH: “Anything else in your dream?”
JT: “Not much. The principal fired me. Then I woke up.”

JH: “Why did he fire you?”
JT: “Time management.”

JT: “It was October 20, and I was supposed to be on page 92.”

JT: “But the kids were enjoying page 91 so much….

JT: that I gave it an extra day.”

Nobody Daily – 11/2/08

CONVERSATIONS

JH: “Have you been following BBC lately?”

JH: “They have this thing going on happiness.”

JH : “Psychologists have even come up with a formula for it - Pleasure + engagement + meaning = happiness.”

JT: “I like mine better. It is simpler.”

JT: “Tacos plus mocha malts = happiness.”

CONVERSATIONS

JT: While I was in Vermont, I decided I would follow in the footsteps of their native son, Pulitzer winning poet Robert Frost, and write my own prizewinner. Here it is. (Please note that being happily married, the last line is not to be taken literally.)

What is so rare as a babe in June,
With boobies that bounce a bit?
Don’t you just hate?
And can you relate
To those who do naught but sit?

Just give me a bounce,
An once of a flounce,
Or any old sign of life.
My search will be done,
I’ll shout, “She’s the one!”
And take her right now
For my wife.

Nobody Daily – 11/1/08

CONVERSATIONS

McCain (in South Florida): “Joe the Plumber couldn’t be with us today.”

JM: “But we do have Joe the Jew.”

JM: “Joe wants to tell you about Obama’s secret plan…

JM: to close down Jewish retirement settlements…

JM: in Florida’s West Bank.”

JM: “He may even be planning a separate Palestinian State north of West Palm Beach.”