CONVERSATIONS
Charles Gibson: “Tell me, Governor, what experience do you have in foreign policy?”
Governor Palin: “I can actually see Russia from an Alaskan island.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “I’m a serious man.”
JM: “I’ll run a serious campaign.”
JM: “And I will never allow Barack Obama to teach
JM: sex education
JM: to my great granddaughter, Lisa,
JM: in pre-school.”
Friday, September 12, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/12/08
CONVERSATIONS
Charles Gibson: “Ms. Palin, what is your opinion of the Bush doctrine?”
Governor Palin: “Bush doctrine.. ah, ah.. I’m not sure what you mean.”
Gibson: “What he called the right of anticipatory self-defense.”
Palin: “Oh that.”
Palin: “I’m for it.”
Palin: “We had all our kids take judo lessons before they even started kindergarten.”
CONVERSATIONS
Every Woman I: “She may be the least qualified VP candidate in history.”
Every Woman II: “But she’s a woman.”
EW I: “She is against abortion, even in cases of rape and incest.”
EW II: “But she’s a woman.”
EW I: Except for her sex, she would never have had a chance at the nomination.”
EW II: “But she’s a woman.”
EW I: “You’ve right.”
EW I: “I can hardly wait to vote for her.”
Charles Gibson: “Ms. Palin, what is your opinion of the Bush doctrine?”
Governor Palin: “Bush doctrine.. ah, ah.. I’m not sure what you mean.”
Gibson: “What he called the right of anticipatory self-defense.”
Palin: “Oh that.”
Palin: “I’m for it.”
Palin: “We had all our kids take judo lessons before they even started kindergarten.”
CONVERSATIONS
Every Woman I: “She may be the least qualified VP candidate in history.”
Every Woman II: “But she’s a woman.”
EW I: “She is against abortion, even in cases of rape and incest.”
EW II: “But she’s a woman.”
EW I: Except for her sex, she would never have had a chance at the nomination.”
EW II: “But she’s a woman.”
EW I: “You’ve right.”
EW I: “I can hardly wait to vote for her.”
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/11/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Thanks to Palin, Alaska is first in per capita pork from D. C.”
JT: “They are eating high up on the hog.”
JH: “Be careful, Jim.”
JT: “In a pig’s eye I will.”
JT: “Voting Republican this year is like buying a pig in a poke.”
JH: “Watch the porcine expressions. You’ll drive McCain crazy.”
JT: “What’s the pig deal!”
JH: “He’ll send his team after you.”
JT: Those swine!”
JT: “They will find me harder to catch than a greased pig.”
JT: “Thanks to Palin, Alaska is first in per capita pork from D. C.”
JT: “They are eating high up on the hog.”
JH: “Be careful, Jim.”
JT: “In a pig’s eye I will.”
JT: “Voting Republican this year is like buying a pig in a poke.”
JH: “Watch the porcine expressions. You’ll drive McCain crazy.”
JT: “What’s the pig deal!”
JH: “He’ll send his team after you.”
JT: Those swine!”
JT: “They will find me harder to catch than a greased pig.”
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/10/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “I am going to get rich on-line.”
JH: “How?”
JT: “By promising to raise Elvis and James Dean from the dead.”
JT: “I figure that if people believe that Palin is qualified
JT: and McCain is a change agent,
JT: They will believe anything.”
JT: “I am going to get rich on-line.”
JH: “How?”
JT: “By promising to raise Elvis and James Dean from the dead.”
JT: “I figure that if people believe that Palin is qualified
JT: and McCain is a change agent,
JT: They will believe anything.”
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/9/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Here’s what I think.”
JH: “Whoever wins this election will have vast opportunities to move the country in the correct direction.”
JT: “Yes, but I fear the Republicans would only be half vast.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “It's not the job of the government to define who is rich."
JM: “It’s the job of government to make them richer.”
JH: “Here’s what I think.”
JH: “Whoever wins this election will have vast opportunities to move the country in the correct direction.”
JT: “Yes, but I fear the Republicans would only be half vast.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “It's not the job of the government to define who is rich."
JM: “It’s the job of government to make them richer.”
Monday, September 8, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/8/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Read it to me again!”
JT: “I promise not to laugh this time.”
JH: “McCain said, ‘Isn't she the most marvelous running mate in the history of this nation?’”
JT: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
JH: “Sorry!”
JT: “But think what he would say had she been his first choice.”
CONVERSATIONS
(Press conference)
John McCain: “No cover-ups in my campaign.”
(Aide Whispers to him)
JM: “No cover-ups in my campaign,
JM: after we table the Palin ethics investigation.”
JT: “Read it to me again!”
JT: “I promise not to laugh this time.”
JH: “McCain said, ‘Isn't she the most marvelous running mate in the history of this nation?’”
JT: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
JH: “Sorry!”
JT: “But think what he would say had she been his first choice.”
CONVERSATIONS
(Press conference)
John McCain: “No cover-ups in my campaign.”
(Aide Whispers to him)
JM: “No cover-ups in my campaign,
JM: after we table the Palin ethics investigation.”
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/7/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Listen to this from Senator McCain.”
JT: “Read it to me!”
John McCain: "Isn't she the most marvelous running mate in the history of this nation?”
JT: “HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!”
JH: “Can I quote you?”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Come on Jim. You’re being too tough on them.”
JT: “Tough on who?”
JH: “The Republicans for mixing up the back-drop picture at the convention.”
JT: “I suppose you are right.” Anyone could have confused a hospital in DC with
JT: a middle school in North Hollywood.”
JH: “Listen to this from Senator McCain.”
JT: “Read it to me!”
John McCain: "Isn't she the most marvelous running mate in the history of this nation?”
JT: “HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!”
JH: “Can I quote you?”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Come on Jim. You’re being too tough on them.”
JT: “Tough on who?”
JH: “The Republicans for mixing up the back-drop picture at the convention.”
JT: “I suppose you are right.” Anyone could have confused a hospital in DC with
JT: a middle school in North Hollywood.”
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/6/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “So what do you think is the biggest question to come out of the Republican Convention?”
JT: “That’s easy.”
JT: “At what point will Palin drop McCain and choose a new running mate?”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “I saw the new Woody Allen movie yesterday.”
JH: “And?”
JT: “Incredible Spanish scenery.”
JT: “Beautiful people.”
JT: “Lots of sex.”
JT: “And they were all miserable.”
JT: “I loved it!”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “What I can’t figure out is why the retired crowd isn’t more into McCain?”
JH: “After all, he’s one of them.”
JT: “WE older folks like our prunes for breakfast,
JT: not for president.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “WOW! Did you read this? – ‘The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government. ... And I won't be buried under their damn flag.’"
JH: “What? Obama’s minister is spouting off again?”
JT: “Wrong! That’s Joe Vogler, the head of the Alaska Independence Party.”
JH: “Isn’t that the group to whom Sarah Plain has ties?”
JT: “Yes. When she cites the Declaration of Independence,
JT: she doesn’t mean 1776.”
JH: “So what do you think is the biggest question to come out of the Republican Convention?”
JT: “That’s easy.”
JT: “At what point will Palin drop McCain and choose a new running mate?”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “I saw the new Woody Allen movie yesterday.”
JH: “And?”
JT: “Incredible Spanish scenery.”
JT: “Beautiful people.”
JT: “Lots of sex.”
JT: “And they were all miserable.”
JT: “I loved it!”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “What I can’t figure out is why the retired crowd isn’t more into McCain?”
JH: “After all, he’s one of them.”
JT: “WE older folks like our prunes for breakfast,
JT: not for president.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “WOW! Did you read this? – ‘The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government. ... And I won't be buried under their damn flag.’"
JH: “What? Obama’s minister is spouting off again?”
JT: “Wrong! That’s Joe Vogler, the head of the Alaska Independence Party.”
JH: “Isn’t that the group to whom Sarah Plain has ties?”
JT: “Yes. When she cites the Declaration of Independence,
JT: she doesn’t mean 1776.”
Friday, September 5, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/5/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “This is the strangest election.”
JH: “What do you mean?”
JT: “I don’t think I can ever remember an election in which…
JT: both major candidates were running against…
JT: the Republican Party.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain speaking to the convention.
JM: “I’m the most prepared to be your next president.”
JM: “My opponent is half motivated by ambition.”
JM: “Me – I’m a hundred percent guy.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Nothing dirty!”
JM: “That’s an absolute!”
JM: “No dirty campaigning for me”
JM: “I leave that to my vice president.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “I pledge to run a respectful campaign.”
JM: “A totally respectful campaign.”
Reporter: “But sir, what about all the innuendos coming from your people?”
R: “Hints that Obama is a wife-beating, Muslim terrorist?”
JM: “I respect that.”
JT: “This is the strangest election.”
JH: “What do you mean?”
JT: “I don’t think I can ever remember an election in which…
JT: both major candidates were running against…
JT: the Republican Party.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain speaking to the convention.
JM: “I’m the most prepared to be your next president.”
JM: “My opponent is half motivated by ambition.”
JM: “Me – I’m a hundred percent guy.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Nothing dirty!”
JM: “That’s an absolute!”
JM: “No dirty campaigning for me”
JM: “I leave that to my vice president.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “I pledge to run a respectful campaign.”
JM: “A totally respectful campaign.”
Reporter: “But sir, what about all the innuendos coming from your people?”
R: “Hints that Obama is a wife-beating, Muslim terrorist?”
JM: “I respect that.”
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/4/08
CONVERSATIONS
Governor Palin: “I only hope that the press will allow me to keep my family life private.”
GP: “These people on the stage with me, my common man husband,
GP: my pregnant teen-daughter who is not going to have an abortion,
GP: her boyfriend who is going to do the right thing,
GP: my Down syndrome baby that I hold in public as often as I can,
GP: my son who is soon going off to Iraq.”
GP: “These people deserve their privacy.”
CONVERSATIONS
Governor Palin: “Here is my plan to save public education.”
GP: “Harry Potter – out!”
GP: “Evolution – out.’
GP: “Sex education – out.”
GP: “On second thought, maybe we could keep that in…
GP: but no pictures.”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Do you think that the social conservatives dominate the Republican Party?”
JT” “All I know is that a key part of their platform is a pro-teen-pregnancy plank.”
JH: “I didn’t see that.”
JT: “They disguise it by calling it…
JT: abstinence.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Why doesn’t my opponent stop hounding this women about a personal family problem?”
Reporter: “But sir, Senator Obama hasn’t said a negative word about the pregnancy.”
JM: “He’s thinking it!”
Governor Palin: “I only hope that the press will allow me to keep my family life private.”
GP: “These people on the stage with me, my common man husband,
GP: my pregnant teen-daughter who is not going to have an abortion,
GP: her boyfriend who is going to do the right thing,
GP: my Down syndrome baby that I hold in public as often as I can,
GP: my son who is soon going off to Iraq.”
GP: “These people deserve their privacy.”
CONVERSATIONS
Governor Palin: “Here is my plan to save public education.”
GP: “Harry Potter – out!”
GP: “Evolution – out.’
GP: “Sex education – out.”
GP: “On second thought, maybe we could keep that in…
GP: but no pictures.”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Do you think that the social conservatives dominate the Republican Party?”
JT” “All I know is that a key part of their platform is a pro-teen-pregnancy plank.”
JH: “I didn’t see that.”
JT: “They disguise it by calling it…
JT: abstinence.”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Why doesn’t my opponent stop hounding this women about a personal family problem?”
Reporter: “But sir, Senator Obama hasn’t said a negative word about the pregnancy.”
JM: “He’s thinking it!”
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/3/08
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Don’t believe me about neos?”
JT” “Just listen to this from their Holy Book.”
JT: “In the beginning American conservatives…
JT: created heaven and earth,
JT: and all was darkness until Ronald Reagan said:
JT: “’Let there be light – and low taxes.’”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “So I chose Sarah Palin as my running mate.”
JM: I don’t see what the big deal is all about.”
JM: “All a vice president does is attend funerals..
JM: and check on the president’s health.”
JM: “OOPS! Let me rephrase that.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Yes, I’d say unique.”
JH: “In what way?”
JT: “Well, the Republicans are the party in power, right?”
JH: “Of course.”
JT: “And yet, the theme of their convention is…
JT: throw the rascal out.”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Traitor Joe’s no dummy.”
JT: “I’m not so sure.”
JT: “Did you watch his speech last night?”
JT: “His lips never moved once.”
JT: “Don’t believe me about neos?”
JT” “Just listen to this from their Holy Book.”
JT: “In the beginning American conservatives…
JT: created heaven and earth,
JT: and all was darkness until Ronald Reagan said:
JT: “’Let there be light – and low taxes.’”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “So I chose Sarah Palin as my running mate.”
JM: I don’t see what the big deal is all about.”
JM: “All a vice president does is attend funerals..
JM: and check on the president’s health.”
JM: “OOPS! Let me rephrase that.”
CONVERSATIONS
JT: “Yes, I’d say unique.”
JH: “In what way?”
JT: “Well, the Republicans are the party in power, right?”
JH: “Of course.”
JT: “And yet, the theme of their convention is…
JT: throw the rascal out.”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Traitor Joe’s no dummy.”
JT: “I’m not so sure.”
JT: “Did you watch his speech last night?”
JT: “His lips never moved once.”
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/2/08
CONVERSATIONS
ON SARAH PALIN
POINT: “She's a partner and a soul mate.” - John McCain
Point: “She’s a babe.” - Rush Limbaugh
Counterpoint: “No more Viagra for you two.” - Daughters of the American Revolution
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Rob the poor to help the rich.”
JM: “I like it! It has a kind of edgy, outlaw feel.”
JM “Sort of like Robin Hood.”
Aide: “ Sir! Robin stole from the rich to help the poor.”
JM: “Really? Arrest that sucker!”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Yes, Governor Palin was thoroughly vetted.”
Reporter: “But sir, the others took two months and the Governor, two minutes.”
JM: “All the time I needed.”
JM: “I just looked her up and down…
JM: and knew she was the right one.”
ON SARAH PALIN
POINT: “She's a partner and a soul mate.” - John McCain
Point: “She’s a babe.” - Rush Limbaugh
Counterpoint: “No more Viagra for you two.” - Daughters of the American Revolution
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Rob the poor to help the rich.”
JM: “I like it! It has a kind of edgy, outlaw feel.”
JM “Sort of like Robin Hood.”
Aide: “ Sir! Robin stole from the rich to help the poor.”
JM: “Really? Arrest that sucker!”
CONVERSATIONS
John McCain: “Yes, Governor Palin was thoroughly vetted.”
Reporter: “But sir, the others took two months and the Governor, two minutes.”
JM: “All the time I needed.”
JM: “I just looked her up and down…
JM: and knew she was the right one.”
Monday, September 1, 2008
Nobody Daily – 9/1/08
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “WOW! It looks like the Republican Convention will be overshadowed…
JM: by an awesome, ugly force of nature.”
JT: “What day is Cheney speaking?”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Palin may be McCain’s plumb, but she doesn’t sit well with the AARP.”
JT: “What do you mean?”
JH: “One of their focus groups in Minneapolis just voted 4-1 against her.”
JT: “That’s because retired people are beyond plums.”
JT: “They’re into the prune stage.”
JH: “WOW! It looks like the Republican Convention will be overshadowed…
JM: by an awesome, ugly force of nature.”
JT: “What day is Cheney speaking?”
CONVERSATIONS
JH: “Palin may be McCain’s plumb, but she doesn’t sit well with the AARP.”
JT: “What do you mean?”
JH: “One of their focus groups in Minneapolis just voted 4-1 against her.”
JT: “That’s because retired people are beyond plums.”
JT: “They’re into the prune stage.”
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